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June 02, 2007

When Performing, Sometimes, Connection Has to Come Before Content

Performing, like speaking in public, can at times be an outrageous act of courage.
Especially if you are a singer who has lost her voice.

My friend, who shall remain nameless, called me yesterday. It was the first night of her two-week run at a very well-known cabaret room in San Francisco. And she was so sick that she had almost completely lost her voice.

"I don't know if I can sing. Everytime I take a breath I start coughing," she said in a rough, raggedy voice. "And I have press coming tonight. If I could, I'd just call the whole thing off."

It's scary. When you are a singer and you're sick and you need to perform, it just feels awful because you know there is no way you can do your best. There is no way that you cannot be super-conscious and cautious about what kind of sounds might come out of your mouth, or if any sound at all will come out of your mouth.

But, as they say, the show must go on.

So, I'll tell you what I told her. When you can't be at your super-shiny best, when you're instrument is less than ideal, when you are working with obstacles over which you have no control, REMEMBER, your connection with your audience must be your primary focus.

See, what often happens with singers in particular is that they get so obsessed and self-absorbed in trying to sing well that they cut off from their audience. Especially when they aren't in great vocal shape. They are mentally fussing with their voices so their energy and attention is on technique and getting through the next phrase without coughing.

But here's the deal. Your audience doesn't care if you take a breath and start coughing. They understand that singers get sick. They don't care if that note didn't soar out with perfect intonation and pitch. They will forgive all that IF you don't leave them.

So, don't leave them. No matter what happens, be with your audience. Sing to your audience. Let your availability and vulnerability be right there for them. Don't hide. Be real with them and they will love it, whether you're spot on or not.

I remember seeing Rita Moreno perform several years ago, and she was sick. No, her voice wasn't as strong or as clear as it usually is, and at one point she had to turn from the mic to cough, but she was right there with us. She didn't hold back on her presence and energy. And it was a fabulous show.

When your voice leaves you, when your speech isn't perfect, when something goes wrong with the equipment, none of that matters IF you can stay with your audience through it all. When you hit the stage and you know you're not at your best, let it go. Decide that your connection with your audience will be your primary goal and focus, and you will do just fine.

P.S. My friend did do just fine. She even sang pretty well, and the reviews are going to be great. I just know it.

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 01:18 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

May 17, 2007

Public Speaking - How to Beat the Epidemic
of Not Enough

Danger!

There’s an epidemic infecting the majority of the population of America. Maybe the world.

No, I’m not talking about avian flu, or malaria or hyperopia.
I’m talking about the Epidemic of Not Enough.

The symptoms to watch for are:
  1. a tendency to always think or feel that you are in some way not enough, that you are lacking some quality, skill, talent or characteristic.

  2. the thought that others may be able to be, have or do what they want, but you don’t get to.

  3. the feeling that you always need more of “something” (more money, more time, more training, more experience) before you can take action or succeed.

  4. feeling stuck, like you can’t move ahead or follow an impulse because you either talk yourself out of it, postpone it or doubt your ability to create a satisfactory result.
If you recognize any of these symptoms, don’t call your doctor. Chances are he’s got the same disease and won’t have a clue as to how to cure you.

In my work with clients, when someone is feeling nervous, anxious, scared or stuck about expressing themselves in public, it is almost always associated with what Kim George calls, The Illusion of Not Enough. (Kim is the author of “Coaching Into Greatness,” an amazing book that I am eating up right now.) This is when you start feeling extremely nervous and scared because you hold some belief or thought that you’re simply not up to the task of speaking or performing in public.

You tell yourself you’re not smart enough. Not polished enough. Not interesting enough, not attractive enough, not articulate enough.  Or, that you don’t have enough of something. For instance, you can’t do it until you more training, more time, more practice, more experience, a better outfit, the right atmosphere.

Stop and think about it. Is this sounding at all familiar to you? Can you identify the ways you may be the victim of Not Enough?

The tragedy of this Illusion of Not Enough is two-fold. One, it keeps you small, silent, scared and frozen in place. It prevents you from moving towards what you want and what you deserve.

But the even bigger tragedy is that it’s all a lot of hooey! It just isn’t true. It is, in fact, an Illusion. You ARE enough. Who says otherwise? As Kim George says, “Who’s holding the measuring tape?” And against what standard of measurement are they holding it?

Continue reading "Public Speaking - How to Beat the Epidemic
of Not Enough" »

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March 10, 2007

You've Already Got What It Takes, Or
Why Public Speaking Experts Should Shut Up And Sit Down!

I couldn’t stop squirming in my seat.

Every word out of his mouth made me fidget with frustration. It was all I could do to not shout out loud, “Please shut up and sit down!”

I was at a conference listening to a very experienced public speaker talk about how to speak in public. And, like most “speaking experts,” he was spelling out all the do’s and don’t’s of public speaking. Outlining the right ways and the wrong ways, the good ways and even better ways to get your point across and wow your audience.

He even told us what colors to wear. How to stand. How to move. He told us to be sure to amp up our energy, get the crowd to say “Yes!,” and be responsible for the energy of the room.

Aaarrrggh!

Okay, I fully understand that this expert, like most speaking experts, are very well-intentioned. They really want to help you be effective and do your best. But this rules-of-the-road approach to public speaking is what contributes mightily to the fear, doubt, self-consciousness and feeling of “not-enoughness” that many people feel when it comes to speaking in public. It chokes people’s own, true, unique, wild voice, their own natural way of expressing themselves.

You already have everything you need to be an effective, charismatic speaker. You do. You don’t need to adopt certain tricks or mannerisms. Nor do you need to speak with an artificially amped-up enthusiasm or energized voice. You do not need to move in this way or that. Or use props or powerpoint. All of these suggestions, though well-meaning, keep us struck in the illusion that we need to be other than who we are right now, in this moment, in order to speak well in public.

Yes, it’s always good to learn from people with experience. But not at the expense of losing touch with the truth that we have, right now, to inherent ability to express ourselves fully, effectively, creatively and fearlessly.

You already have it all. Everything you need to speak in public. For instance:

Continue reading "You've Already Got What It Takes, Or
Why Public Speaking Experts Should Shut Up And Sit Down!" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 12:11 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

February 07, 2007

I Want To Be Free!
My Journey with Dr. Claude

I'm starting a new adventure and I'm bring you with me!

There is a man named Dr. Claude Windenberger who has this fascinating process by which he can free anyone from any unwanted condition. Well, that is, if they are willing to be free of that condition.

Wanna know more? Well, I sure did when he called me how many weeks ago.

Dr. Claude called me up one day out of the blue because he had heard about me and Unconditional Confidence through Alex Mandossian's TeleSeminar Secrets. It's a long story. Anyway, Dr. Claude was intrigued because our business names are so similar. He calls his work Unconditional Freedom.

When he told me about what he does I laughed and told him, "If you can do what you say you can do, then my work has just become obsolete!"

Now, I may not get the semantics just right, but basically, Dr. Claude told me that by taking people through a very simple process which bascially consists of a series of questions, he can help people be free of any unwanted condition. ANY unwanted condition.

How could I not be fascinated? I HAD to try it. Just think what this could do for people who are afraid of speaking in public? Or afraid of anything for that matter. Could Dr. Claude free people from fear? Now, THAT would be fanstastic!

Continue reading "I Want To Be Free!
My Journey with Dr. Claude" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 04:45 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

January 20, 2007

The Summary & Appendix to
The Diva's 7 Secrets!

This concludes the Special Report, "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." A quick Summary, and a new definition.

In Summary

So, there you go! The Diva’s 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing in Public With Confidence, Ease and Your Own Kind of Creative Charisma.

How do they feel to you? Do you feel you’re ready to start integrating these Secrets into your expressive life? Can you feel how they could transform your communication and public self-expression?

If you’re ready to go for it, I suggest you start by focusing on one or two of the Secrets that really resonate with you now. Let yourself play with them in your daily life. All of these Secrets apply to all aspects of your life, not just when you’re speaking or performing for an audience. Then, play with a few more of the Secrets. You’ll discover the ones that are perfect for you.
 
These Secrets are explored and integrated in the advanced Unconditional Confidence® trainings, so if you want some coaching around these Secrets, please feel free to contact me through this blog or website. I offer several teleclasses, teleclinics and individual coaching programs that will allow you to fully integrate and expand upon these Diva Secrets.

Now, I promised to share with you my new definition of the word, Diva. 

A Diva is anyone who is connected to their own divine, creative source and true spirit AND is able to freely express themselves from that state of connection, in their life, work or art.

That’s my new definition. How do you like it? I know, it’s a bit nebulous. It’s a work in progress. As you will read in the Appendix below, I tried to use the best of the original definition yet make “Divahood” available to everyone. Because everyone has the ability to connect with one’s divine, creative self, one’s true self, and express oneself from that place of connection. Don’t you think?

Continue reading "The Summary & Appendix to
The Diva's 7 Secrets!" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 01:47 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

January 19, 2007

Secret #7
You Gotta Have Fun!

This is the last Secret from the Special Report, "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." There will be a summary, though.
____________

Secret #7
You Gotta Have Fun!

I have a friend who always says, “Fun comes first!”

When it comes to speaking, performing or expressing yourself in any way, let your sense of fun lead the way. Let your priority be to create an experience that is fun for you. Be very selfish about this.

How can you have the most fun ever while you are presenting or performing? How can you create that for yourself?

Sometimes when I present this Secret to adults they just don’t get it. “What’s the point of having fun? Who cares about that? I need to make this sale, close this deal.” Or they say, “Fun? How can I have fun speaking in public? I just want it to be over fast!”

Let me help you out with this a little.

When you connect to what is fun and enjoyable and playful for you, you are connecting to your creativity, your aliveness AND your natural confidence in who you are. When you allow yourself to play and have fun, there is an energy that surges through you to carry you to where you want to go.

And when you allow yourself to have fun, your audience will find you irresistible. Even if they can’t understand a word you are saying, they will be drawn towards your energy.

Now, some of you may be saying, “But I’m talking about serious things here. I can’t be having fun!”  That’s just not true. You don’t have to be silly and irreverent to have fun. It’s all about enjoying yourself to the maximum and allowing your playful, creative energy to be present no matter what you are talking about.

Continue reading "Secret #7
You Gotta Have Fun!" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 01:38 AM | | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

January 18, 2007

Secret #6
Allow Your Audience to Be Who They Are

Thus continues the Special Report, "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." One more Secret to go after this one!
__________
Secret #6
Allow Your Audience to Be Who They Are

Doesn’t it feel great to know that you have full permission to just be who you are when you’re speaking or performing? Well, it will feel even better when you give your audience full permission to just be who they are, too.

This means that if your audience is bored, tired, or disinterested, that’s okay with you! If they are crazy with enthusiasm, well, all right! That’s okay, too.

You don’t have to control your audience. You don’t have to take care of them. Unless you’re performing for a group of infants, chances are they can all take care of themselves. Allow your audience to be as they are. They may very well be tired. That’s okay. They may want to be somewhere else. That’s okay, too. Don’t take it personally. They are just being who they are in that moment.

I have a friend who is wonderful professor of psychology at a college. She loves teaching. She loves interacting with her students during class and they love her as well. Recently she told me that she can be having a great time presenting something to her students, but if there is one student in back who is falling asleep, she feels compelled to grab his attention and make him to join the party.

“Why?” I asked her. “Why are you focusing so much energy and attention on the ONE student who could care less when you have a whole room full of students who are hungry to hear what you have to say? Stay where the party is. Let that student sleep it off. Leave him be and stay connected with those students who are available to connect with you.”

I would tell you the same thing. If half of your audience seems to be falling asleep, stay available and receptive to the half that is paying attention. Allow yourself to be with those who are available for connection rather than wasting your attention on those who would rather be someplace else.

Continue reading "Secret #6
Allow Your Audience to Be Who They Are" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 01:20 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

January 10, 2007

Secret #5:
Connection Comes Before Content

Thus continues the Special Report, "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." I am posting these Secrets one by one every week. Until I run out.

_________

Secret #5
Connection Comes Before Content

Have you ever talked with someone and immediately felt a connection? “Wow, we really connected,” you say to yourself. It’s as if something clicked in and opened up and there was an exchange of energy that went beyond the words spoken. You feel it, and if feels great.

When you are speaking with an audience or performing, you can create this same kind of magical, palpable connection. All you have to do is listen out loud.

This is not a technique or trick. What I call “listening out loud” is a state of being in which you are simply present, resting inside your own skin, and allowing yourself to be completely available, receptive and responsive to the presence and energy of your audience. It’s as if you are listening to your audience even though you happen to be the one doing all the talking.

Now, you’ve probably always thought that in order to be a great speaker or performer you have to go out there and give your audience all you’ve got with passion, enthusiasm and excellence. But in a way, the opposite is true.

Continue reading "Secret #5:
Connection Comes Before Content" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 04:57 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

January 03, 2007

Secret #4
You Can't Make a Mistake
Because There Is No Such Thing!

Thus continues the Special Report, "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." I am posting these Secrets one by one over every week.
_________________

Secret #4
You Can't Make A Mistake

Oh, we’re so afraid of making a mistake! Especially publicly.

You were taught to fear mistakes at a very early age. You learned that if you made a mistake, you could be punished, either by your parents, your school or your society. If you did anything that was displeasing or judged as inappropriate by the adults around you, you were admonished, sometimes ever humiliated in front of others. You figured out that there must be appropriate ways to behave and that if you “misbehaved,” you were “bad” and subject to rejection, isolation and pain.

Now, that can really screw up a person’s sense of self-confidence in their own self-expression, don’t you think?

Even now, as adults, our fear of mistakes cripples so much of our potential creativity and confident self-expression. We’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, of forgetting what we mean to say, of doing something “wrong.”  Huge chunks of our creative, expressive selves have been strangled because we long ago decided these parts of who we are might not meet the approval of others.

A day doesn’t go by without someone telling me a horror story about how they were humiliated or made to feel “wrong” or unworthy by either a teacher or some authority figure. These humiliations and the habits we’ve formed around them continue to haunt us. In an attempt to stay safe, we’ve stopped owning and expressing our true voice. We’ve allowed ourselves to become silent and small.

But here’s the good news.

When it comes to self-expression, there are no mistakes. There are only spontaneous, unplanned opportunities for connection.

Keep reading...

Continue reading "Secret #4
You Can't Make a Mistake
Because There Is No Such Thing!" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 09:49 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

December 11, 2006

Diva Secret #3
Be Yourself

I recently wrote a Special Report that I'd like to share with you. It's called "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." I'll be posting these Secrets one by one over the next few weeks. Enjoy!

__________________

Secret #3:
Be Yourself

Tell me the truth. Can you just be yourself when you’re speaking or performing?

Can you just show up and be who you are without feeling that you should be someone who is more articulate, more talented, more experienced, more dynamic, more interesting, more funny, more SOMETHING?

The reason I’m asking is that most people feel that if they are going to stand up and speak in front of an audience, they need to be MORE than who they are. They need to be like that electrifying, laugh-a-minute speaker they saw last week. Or they need to be an extraordinary, super-duper, high-gloss version of themselves.

Well, that’s nuts.

You get to just be who you are. As you are. Not some better-than-ever version of who you are, but who you are right now. In this moment.

You get to talk the way you talk everyday to your friends and colleagues. Really. Just talk to your audience as if you were talking to a friend over a cup of coffee. Be present and available and just talk like you talk. Not only will you feel natural and at ease but your audience will, too. They will find it easy to connect and engage with you because you are just being you. In fact, all your audience really wants is to be with someone who is real, authentic, and genuine.

Sometimes, when I tell people they can just be who they are, I get this objection. “But I can’t be myself! No one would want to listen to me. Who I am is a very shy, quiet person!” Listen, what choice do you have? You are who you are. So, if you’re shy, then be shy and speak from that shyness. It’s okay. You don’t have to be explosive, aggressive and loud. You don’t have to be any certain way. Just be real. Be who you are.

Secondly, if you try to pretend to be someone you’re not, it’s not going to work. You will be so busy trying to pull of a charade that you are going to feel even more panicked and nervous. Besides, people can smell a fraud and a fake from a mile away. And as soon as they get a whiff, they retract, get suspicious and choose not to pay attention.

Continue reading "Diva Secret #3
Be Yourself" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 02:06 AM | | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

November 23, 2006

Diva Secret #2
Focus On The Fabulous!

I recently wrote a Special Report that I'd like to share with you.
It's called "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." I'll be posting these Secrets one by one over the next few weeks. Enjoy!


___________
Secret #2
Focus on the Fabulous

What are you thinking about right now?

Whatever it is, it’s effecting your experience and creating your future.

According to the Law of Attraction, whatever you think about, give your attention to and focus upon is what is created, or attracted into, your life. There is an energy and vibration in your thoughts, and that energy attracts more of the same. In other words, whatever you feed with your thought and energy, grows and expands into your experience.

So, what are you thinking about when you’re about to speak in public or perform onstage?

If you’re like most of my clients, you’re worrying about all the things that can go wrong. “What if I mess up? What if my body shakes uncontrollably? What if I forget what I’m saying? What if I trip? What if…”

Stop it!

This kind of thinking is not helping you. It’s only scaring you and making you feel more anxious. And, this kind of thinking is feeding what you don’t want.

When you catch your mind spinning with all the disasters that may befall you, just stop and choose to start thinking about what you DO want. “I want to feel relaxed and at ease. I want everything to go smoothly. I want to make a great connection with my audience. I want to express myself freely. I want to tell people what I know. I want to really enjoy this opportunity.”

By thinking about what you do want, you get your mind working for you rather than against you and you start attracting those things you want into your experience.

Continue reading "Diva Secret #2
Focus On The Fabulous!" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 12:33 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

November 15, 2006

Diva Secret #1
You Can't Care What Anyone Else Thinks

I recently wrote a Special Report that I'd like to share with you.
It's called "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." I'll be posting these Secrets one by one over the next few weeks. Enjoy!

___________
What Are the Diva Secrets?

Several years ago I was singing in a small nightclub in San Francisco called Piaf’s. The host of the evening , Wayne, would introduce me to audience as “The Diva of the North Bay.” This title would make me cringe.

The title of “Diva” didn’t sit well with me because the word had come to mean “a narcissitic, self-absorbed, conceited whiner with more attitude than talent.” But I also knew that the original term was given to true Divas, singers who’s ability to be so connected to the divine, to something larger than themselves, that they sang with the ease, power and beauty of the heavens.

In order to find peace with my new title, I had to redefine the word “Diva.” And in doing so, I realized that a true Diva has valuable secrets to share, secrets about how to be powerfully present, completely confident, connected and charismatic when presenting, speaking or performing.  These are the Secrets I’m about to share with you. The Diva’s 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing in Public With Confidence, Ease and Your Own Kind of Creative Charisma.

You will find these Secrets exciting but challenging because they ask you to change the way you think about yourself, your value and your relationship to speaking or performing in public. They may rub up against some old concepts and beliefs you have about what it means to express yourself in public. This is good.

Because if you are reading this, chances are that you want a change, yes? A change that allows you to feel completely confident, authentic and free in your self-expression? A change that allows you to break free of all the fear and anxiety and self-sabotage that has been keeping you from the joy of expressing yourself fully and fearlessly?

Well then, let’s get to it!

As for my new definition of the word Diva, I will share it with you in the Appendix of this report. It can wait because I know you’re anxious to dig in to these Secrets right now. Just read through them and imagine how it would feel to fully integrate these Secrets into your life and your self-expression. If it feels good, go for it!

Continue reading "Diva Secret #1
You Can't Care What Anyone Else Thinks" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 05:44 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

October 12, 2006

Are You Confident Enough to Wear a Thong?

Continue reading "Are You Confident Enough to Wear a Thong?" »

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August 18, 2006

The Rebel Belle Is All About Bold Self-Expression

My new friend and sister in fearless self-expression is Tuck Self, the Rebel Belle. Born and raised to be a gentile southern lady, Tuck lived most of her life catering to the whims and desires of those around her, nurturing her loved ones while ignoring her own wild dreams, and making sure everyone was cozy and comfy before caring for herself.

Not any more!

Liberating herself from her past conditioning, Tuck is the self-proclaimed "Rebel Belle — a Southern Voice for Bold Self-Expression" and she wants YOU to come along with her to claim your dreams, your purpose, AND YOUR VOICE!

I've been enjoying Tuck's new blog and her email course "The Rebel Belle Guide to Bold Self-Expression: 7 Steps to Discovering Freedom." Even though I've only received the first four steps so far, there is some good stuff here!

My favorite step is "A Tissue for Your Issue" where this Rebel Belle gives you a clear, empowering way to work with any issue that is keeping you from what you really want. This process can be helpful in getting to the guts of why you are feeling scared or nervous about speaking or performing in public.

It separates the facts from your own fearful perceptions, allows all those fears and judgments to have their voice, and finally brings it around to creating what you want for yourself through awareness, understanding and taking responsibility for your experience. (Thank you, Tuck!)

As Tuck says:
"Once you are aware of the patterns and conditioning that drive your thoughts and behaviors, once you understand how they create your reality, you can take ownership. And, once you take ownership, you are on the road to freedom. You have the tools you need to take responsibility for your circumstances and get your power back. You don’t just create some of your reality. You create all of it. And, with the Rebel Belle at your side, giving you tips and tools, you are well on your way to bold self-expression — full out and on your own terms."


There are so many fun and helpful gems offered by the Rebel Belle. Even if you're not from the south and not a "belle," this blog can't help but get your stirred up and wanting to scream in the streets "Yes, I will have my voice! Yes, I will live MY life!"

Claim your own bold self-expression. The Rebel Belle will support you all the way!

 

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August 17, 2006

The Beauty of the Beginner

She started singing a year ago, this small, shy Japanese woman, and yet there she was.
On stage, singing "My Romance" in an unever, halting manner, with a heavy Japanese accent.

Her voice tended to shake at the end of each phrase. She took breaths in inappropriate places, her phrasing was choppy and crude, and she would slow down dramatically when she was uncertain of what came next.

And I fell in love with her. She was thoroughly engaging, captivating and real.

This all happened last night in San Francisco at Thick Tuesday, a monthly salon/workshop/open mic for singers hosted by my two buddies, Lua Hadar and Linda Kosut, both of whom are professional singers and the "keepers of the flame" of the cabaret community in San Francisco.

Singers of all levels of experience show up for this evening in order to perform, learn and meet other singers. It's a safe place for beginning singers to start singing in front of an audience and a fun place for professionals to try out new material in a very supportive environment.

What killed me about this 40-something Japanese woman was that her performance of "My Romance" was not only amateur but tecnicially and artistically horrible. And it was deeply touching, romantic and lovely. I was completely captivated by her and her song because she presented herself and sang in such an honest, revealing way.

She didn't try to fool us into thinking she was a more experienced or mature singer than she was. She just walked up on stage and sang that song the best she could at that moment. And her performance was sweet, touching and mezmerizing.

I know a lot of you feel like I do most of the time. We don't want to do anything in public in less we're really good at it. We wouldn't dream of getting up on stage to perform or speak unless we felt sure we could do a pretty good job. I mean, we don't want to show what we DON'T know. We don't want to show off our LACK of talent and skill.

But this beginning singer reminded me, once again, that it's not about knowing anything or having special talent and skill. It's all about showing up and being who you are in that moment. Being willing to share whatever you have to give, in that moment, honestly, openly, without pretending.

And if you can show up and be who you are, without trying to be more practiced, more professional, more skilled than you are, people just might fall in love with you.

I, for one, cannot wait to hear this woman sing again. Not because I'm going to be dazzled by her technique, but because I know she will wake me up to the beauty of being a beginner who isn't afraid to be a beginner. Because I know that throughout whatever song she may sing, I'll get to hear her and see her as she really is. And fall in love all over again.

 

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August 03, 2006

Speaking of Writing...

I just confessed to all of you that I'm writing a book. In 45 Days.

It's got me thinking about my willingess to be fearless and authentic in my written self-expression as well as my wild, in-the-moment spoken communication. To tell you the truth, when I get to sit and write and think and review and edit, I'm a little bit more cautious. A little bit less brash.

By no coincidence, since I don't believe in coincidence, I've been turned on to Lisa Wilder's blog where she has been talking about why she's not writing.

Like Lisa, I have found it very tough to express myself in writing or any other way when I'm trying to say something that isn't completely true for me. Or, rather, if I'm writing about one thing but my heart and mind has been taken hostage by something else that is going on in my life.

I feel this responsibility to be the expert, to know what I'm talking about, to understand where all of you are coming from, to be able to offer you support, tools and information that is truly helpful and liberating. I mean, why else would you tune in?

At the same time, I just want to shout at you,
"Stop being so &%$# scared!
Stop caring what everyone else thinks!
Have your voice!
Make mistakes!
Be bold and wild and outrageous!
Or be shy and timid and quiet, but
speak up any way!
Sing your song, loudly!
Speak your mind!
Express who you truly are!
Stop being so d*&% scared!"

Whew! Thanks. I needed that.

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 02:38 AM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

May 04, 2006

Finding the Confidence

My new friend Sarah and I have the greatest email discussion about confidence, "feeling comfy" when expressing emotion, how what we believe about ourselves effects our level of confidence, and what to do when we feel "emotionally hijacked" by big waves of irrepressible emotion. This is so good!

This discussion stimulated tons of ideas for articles, posts and topics for the "Become the Star You Are" TeleClinic. So, stay tuned!

 Sarah's blog, Finding the Confidence, digs deep. She's looking for answers. She wants to know what really works at a core level. No tricks, no gimmicks, no confidence-in-an-hour schemes.

I especially appreciate her post  "Eureka! Is it confidence? Or complete craziness?" Here's a tidbit below:

"But what if...what if...confidence is about being okay with exactly whatever feelings come up? Calm or upset? Peaceful or alarming?
But not only being okay to feel the feelings coming up, but also being open about them with others? (Not hiding them?) What if confidence is being okay as a human to share the experience of our feelings, in the moment, with other humans who are with us?

Hey, tell me, how did we as humans in a society get so scared and embarrassed about expressing what we feel? If we are speaking and we start crying, why is that embarrassing or shameful? What are we embarrassed about? Being real and human? Having strong emotions?

So often in Unconditional Confidence trainings someone will start talking about something and they will start crying. Immediately, they will apologize and try to stop. They feel embarrassed and inappropriate. 

I always tell them, "Just let yourself cry. This is your wild voice right now. This is your authentic expression right now. Crying, laughing, snorting, they are all ways to have your voice, your true self-expression." Well, maybe I don't go on THAT long, but that's the gist of it.

What's that about, that embarrassment? We need to question that response to our own flow of expression.

As my friend Sarah reminded me, I think part of what scares us it that we feel out of control. Like our emotions have carried us away. And if we're not used to trusting those emotions, if we aren't used to letting those emotions flow, crest and subside within us, we feel at the mercy of that emotional energy, and we get scared.

Oh, I could go on and on!

Check out Sarah's blog, www.findingtheconfidence.com and join the discussion!

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Posted by Nancy Tierney at 02:27 AM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

January 26, 2006

Molly Ivins, Hillary Clinton,
Lee Glickstein & Me

Last Sunday, my husband started reading to me out loud from the editorial page. He was reading an article written by Molly Ivins called “I Will Not Support Hillary Clinton for President.”

It was a smart, lean, sharp-tongued, no-nonsense, “I’m-mad-and-I’m-not-going-to-take-it-anymore” article about how she, and most Americans, are sick and tired of lies and lack of real leadership. She spoke up for truth, courage and political reform with impassioned urgency and conviction.

But in light of my own personal experience of late, I had to wonder, did she have to attack Hillary in order to make her powerful point? Did she need to make Hillary Clinton the symbol for fear and equivocation? Or was she just creating a snappy headline that would attract readers?

Continue reading "Molly Ivins, Hillary Clinton,
Lee Glickstein & Me" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 12:34 AM | | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)