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June 28, 2007

No Nerves Allowed on The Next Food Network Star

Okay, are you watching "The Next Food Network Star" on the Food channel?

This is my first year of watching it and I must say, I like it so much better than Top Chef on Bravo, mostly because the judges seem to want to help these chefs succeed. They give them suggestions and support rather than just tell them that their food sucks.

But I digress.

The Next Food Network Star is a reality show in which 11 chefs complete to have their very own cooking show on the Food Network, like Rachel Ray (who looked so much better when her hair was lighter) and Paula Dean. These 11 chefs are judged not just on how well they cook but on their ability to present their food with pizazz and personality. Basically, to show their star quality.

So, why am I talking about all this when I don't even really like cooking all that much?

Because on the first or second show of the season, one of the chefs, Tommy  (here's his photo), couldn't stop his hands from shaking as he served his bouillabaisse. It was obvious that he was really nervous. So, at the time of the evaluation, just before they kick someone off the show, one of the judges, Bob Tuschman, told Tommy soemthing like, "Hey, even if you're nervous, don't show it. Don't let us see it"

Basically, he told him to fake it. 

Now, you know my stance on faking it. I always say, don't fake anything. Be real, be yourself, and don't try to hide anything from your audience.  That old fake-it-until-you-make-it approach only reinforces the myth that you aren't enough as you are. And it is this myth that causes the fear and anxiety most people experience around speaking in public.

But are there times when it is appropriate to fake it?

Continue reading "No Nerves Allowed on The Next Food Network Star" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 12:01 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

June 13, 2007

Public Speaking Myths: Would Steve Jobs Ever Use Note Cards?

Is it a sin to use notes when giving a speech? Should you have your presentation memorized and so well practiced that you never need to glance at a note card?

According to Garr Reynolds over at Presentation Zen and an email from Eric Feng at The Public Speaking Blog, you should never, ever use notes or cue cards. To do so, according to them, means certain death as a speaker.

I wholeheartedly disagree. There is nothing wrong with using notes as long as you don't misuse them.

But before I dig into this, you should know that both Garr's and Eric's directives were inspired by Cingular's CEO Stan Sigman's recent speech at MacWorld back in January. Apparently Stan bored his audience by reading his speech from his 4x5 note cards. Ugh! Not only did he lose his audience but he inspired the online insults and distain of several bloggers who were in attendance.

But was Stan's demise because of his use of notes or his misuse of notes? I believe it was the latter. I agree that no one should read their speech from there notes. If you're going to read it, you might as well not even bother to present it.

There is a way to use notes effectively and confidently. To ellaborate, let me jump off of the points from Dale Carnegie that Garr used in his blog post. (They appear near the middle of his post).

Point One: "Notes destroy fifty percent of the interest in your talk."

My Take: Only if you read them or are so tied to them that you aren't able to speak conversationally, naturally. Notes won't "destroy" anything if you use them as a tool to keep you headed in the right direction.

Continue reading "Public Speaking Myths: Would Steve Jobs Ever Use Note Cards?" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 07:01 PM | | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

June 09, 2007

Public Speaking - Setting Up a Story

Last week, I was working with a client who had created an impressive presentation on the people of New Guinea. He had created a PowerPoint presentation, that consisted of these gorgeous photos he had taken himself during a trip to that far away land, that he augmented witih his many stories of his trip and many fascinating facts about New Guinea and the people who live there.

And while my client really knew what he was talking about, he had a tendency to slide in sideways when setting up his stories or segments. Rather than state a point, a fact or launch into a story, he would say something like, "What you see here..." or "Oh, yes, and this is where..." rather than start with a strong, clear sentence.

And all of this brings me to a recent post on Tom Antion's blog, Great Public Speaking, where he gives you some Don'ts, and a few Do's, when it comes to setting up a story.

Some good don't's in Tom's post are:
Don't say the words funny, reminds me of, or story.

Don't say, I heard a good one the other day...

Never say, I don't know if I should tell this one. If there is any doubt whatsoever that a story is not appropriate for a particular group, leave it out.

Tom's advice on starting a story is this:

The best way to start a story is to get right into it. You should be into the story before anyone realizes it is a story. That way they are already deeply involved and don't have time to resist.
Tom has a lot more good advice over at this blog. You may want to put it into your Google Reader. 

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 12:30 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

April 17, 2007

Public Speaking & Your Purpose:
What Do You Want Them To Do?

I always ask my clients, what do you want to experience when you are speaking in public?

The answers vary from "I want to feel like I'm doing a great job." "I want to get a standing ovation." "I want to feel like I know what I'm talking about."

But my favorite answer was, "I want them to think I'm great! I want them to be really impressed!"

Now, that was an honest answer. Because if you distill the other answers down to their essence, it all comes down to, "I want to be liked." Or, "I want to them to be impressed."

Now, there is nothing wrong with this desire. It's an honest desire. But it's also a desire that can really mess you up when it comes to feeling confident and free when you're speaking or communicating in any way. If you are doing it to get someone to like you, or to be impressive, you will forever be at the mercy of someone's good or bad day, their opinion or their state of mind in that moment. And it will drive you crazy.

That's why I love the advice that world champion speaker Darren LaCroix gave to Eric Feng of The Public Speaking Blog about his purpose in being a speaker. Darren was commenting on Eric's desire to WOW his audience, which is, again, a very honest desire.
Here's what Darren told him:

"First of all, I must comment on your purpose. You say that you want the audience to go “wow” after the end of my speech… to me that implies that you want the audience to be impressed by you. Then you say that you want to be at the level of a champion. Do you understand that to speak like a champion, you must think like a champion?

Champion speakers do not aspire to getting a wow. We aspire to get the audience to do something for themselves, or to think differently about your subject or themselves when we are done. You need to think the same way. You cannot worry about what the audience thinks of you…that is an amaturish way of thinking. Think bigger. What will they “do” as a result of you speaking… make sense?

Don’t worry, we all start that way. A speaker grows incredibly when - as Brian Tracy says - you go from here I am to there you are."

Fascinating, no?

I love that Eric had the guts to share this feedback publicly so we could all benefit from Darren's comments.

Now, I've never been an advocate of getting an audience to DO something. It reminds me too much of watching these evangelical, hypnotic marketing gurus speaking in such a way as to inspire the audience to buy thousands of dollars worth of their products.

But what Darren is saying is that it's about inspiring your audience to do something FOR THEMSELVES, or perhaps even think differently about themselves.

What I also appreciate about this message is this: it's not about you, it's about them, your audience. It's not about you being revered and admired and adored. It's about your audience benefiting in some way by spending that time with you.

Now, as Lee Glickstein would say, just sharing your authentic presence is enough. That in itself can inspire and move people to a different place, a sweeter space.

So, don't feel like you need to get your audience to do something huge, grand and dramatic. Remember, that just showing up with the purpose to be present, to be available to your audience, to be real, and to share what's true for you is in itself inspiring and will move your audience in the direction they want and need to go.

Your authenticity and your ease in fully being who you really are gives the same to your audience. It awakens within them their owning knowing of what they need to do to move closer to that which will be in their best interest.

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 11:25 PM | | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

January 20, 2007

The Summary & Appendix to
The Diva's 7 Secrets!

This concludes the Special Report, "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." A quick Summary, and a new definition.

In Summary

So, there you go! The Diva’s 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing in Public With Confidence, Ease and Your Own Kind of Creative Charisma.

How do they feel to you? Do you feel you’re ready to start integrating these Secrets into your expressive life? Can you feel how they could transform your communication and public self-expression?

If you’re ready to go for it, I suggest you start by focusing on one or two of the Secrets that really resonate with you now. Let yourself play with them in your daily life. All of these Secrets apply to all aspects of your life, not just when you’re speaking or performing for an audience. Then, play with a few more of the Secrets. You’ll discover the ones that are perfect for you.
 
These Secrets are explored and integrated in the advanced Unconditional Confidence® trainings, so if you want some coaching around these Secrets, please feel free to contact me through this blog or website. I offer several teleclasses, teleclinics and individual coaching programs that will allow you to fully integrate and expand upon these Diva Secrets.

Now, I promised to share with you my new definition of the word, Diva. 

A Diva is anyone who is connected to their own divine, creative source and true spirit AND is able to freely express themselves from that state of connection, in their life, work or art.

That’s my new definition. How do you like it? I know, it’s a bit nebulous. It’s a work in progress. As you will read in the Appendix below, I tried to use the best of the original definition yet make “Divahood” available to everyone. Because everyone has the ability to connect with one’s divine, creative self, one’s true self, and express oneself from that place of connection. Don’t you think?

Continue reading "The Summary & Appendix to
The Diva's 7 Secrets!" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 01:47 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

January 19, 2007

Secret #7
You Gotta Have Fun!

This is the last Secret from the Special Report, "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." There will be a summary, though.
____________

Secret #7
You Gotta Have Fun!

I have a friend who always says, “Fun comes first!”

When it comes to speaking, performing or expressing yourself in any way, let your sense of fun lead the way. Let your priority be to create an experience that is fun for you. Be very selfish about this.

How can you have the most fun ever while you are presenting or performing? How can you create that for yourself?

Sometimes when I present this Secret to adults they just don’t get it. “What’s the point of having fun? Who cares about that? I need to make this sale, close this deal.” Or they say, “Fun? How can I have fun speaking in public? I just want it to be over fast!”

Let me help you out with this a little.

When you connect to what is fun and enjoyable and playful for you, you are connecting to your creativity, your aliveness AND your natural confidence in who you are. When you allow yourself to play and have fun, there is an energy that surges through you to carry you to where you want to go.

And when you allow yourself to have fun, your audience will find you irresistible. Even if they can’t understand a word you are saying, they will be drawn towards your energy.

Now, some of you may be saying, “But I’m talking about serious things here. I can’t be having fun!”  That’s just not true. You don’t have to be silly and irreverent to have fun. It’s all about enjoying yourself to the maximum and allowing your playful, creative energy to be present no matter what you are talking about.

Continue reading "Secret #7
You Gotta Have Fun!" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 01:38 AM | | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

On Becoming Fearless:
11 Things To Do If You're Nervous

Do you know who Beth Lapides is?

Well, I can't say I did until today when I was directed to The Huffington Post blog where Beth has an 11 point post that is pretty darned good!

I especially enjoy her irreverant style of writing and making a scary point. For instance:

So, your fear shows, and you know it, so more fear because now not only will you suck but everyone will know you're a scaredy pants, which leads to more fear, more sucking and the vicious cycle that escalates into your nightmare life of homeless drug addicted despair! It doesn't have to be this way! I can help! You may never become a public speaker on the level of Martin Luther King, or even Larry King or quite frankly even Billie Jean King but you'll be able to focus, deliver and enjoy it more and suck less.

 

And she goes on to give you 11 Things you can actually do, my favorite of which is:

6. Steady yourself by touching yourself (not like that!). Hands in pocket, or on hips etc. This reminds you that you are still in your body - not floating outside it!


Check it out.

By the way, Beth is a writer, comedian, teacher, actress, artist and commentator for NPR's All Things Considered. Turns out she's also hosted a bunch of radio shows, AND she's the creator and host of the legendary Un-Cabaret "which has been producing original, progressive comedy since 1990."

I love that title, Un-Cabaret. Perhaps I could start calling myself an un-cabaret singer.

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 01:27 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

January 18, 2007

Secret #6
Allow Your Audience to Be Who They Are

Thus continues the Special Report, "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." One more Secret to go after this one!
__________
Secret #6
Allow Your Audience to Be Who They Are

Doesn’t it feel great to know that you have full permission to just be who you are when you’re speaking or performing? Well, it will feel even better when you give your audience full permission to just be who they are, too.

This means that if your audience is bored, tired, or disinterested, that’s okay with you! If they are crazy with enthusiasm, well, all right! That’s okay, too.

You don’t have to control your audience. You don’t have to take care of them. Unless you’re performing for a group of infants, chances are they can all take care of themselves. Allow your audience to be as they are. They may very well be tired. That’s okay. They may want to be somewhere else. That’s okay, too. Don’t take it personally. They are just being who they are in that moment.

I have a friend who is wonderful professor of psychology at a college. She loves teaching. She loves interacting with her students during class and they love her as well. Recently she told me that she can be having a great time presenting something to her students, but if there is one student in back who is falling asleep, she feels compelled to grab his attention and make him to join the party.

“Why?” I asked her. “Why are you focusing so much energy and attention on the ONE student who could care less when you have a whole room full of students who are hungry to hear what you have to say? Stay where the party is. Let that student sleep it off. Leave him be and stay connected with those students who are available to connect with you.”

I would tell you the same thing. If half of your audience seems to be falling asleep, stay available and receptive to the half that is paying attention. Allow yourself to be with those who are available for connection rather than wasting your attention on those who would rather be someplace else.

Continue reading "Secret #6
Allow Your Audience to Be Who They Are" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 01:20 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

January 10, 2007

Secret #5:
Connection Comes Before Content

Thus continues the Special Report, "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." I am posting these Secrets one by one every week. Until I run out.

_________

Secret #5
Connection Comes Before Content

Have you ever talked with someone and immediately felt a connection? “Wow, we really connected,” you say to yourself. It’s as if something clicked in and opened up and there was an exchange of energy that went beyond the words spoken. You feel it, and if feels great.

When you are speaking with an audience or performing, you can create this same kind of magical, palpable connection. All you have to do is listen out loud.

This is not a technique or trick. What I call “listening out loud” is a state of being in which you are simply present, resting inside your own skin, and allowing yourself to be completely available, receptive and responsive to the presence and energy of your audience. It’s as if you are listening to your audience even though you happen to be the one doing all the talking.

Now, you’ve probably always thought that in order to be a great speaker or performer you have to go out there and give your audience all you’ve got with passion, enthusiasm and excellence. But in a way, the opposite is true.

Continue reading "Secret #5:
Connection Comes Before Content" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 04:57 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

January 03, 2007

Secret #4
You Can't Make a Mistake
Because There Is No Such Thing!

Thus continues the Special Report, "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." I am posting these Secrets one by one over every week.
_________________

Secret #4
You Can't Make A Mistake

Oh, we’re so afraid of making a mistake! Especially publicly.

You were taught to fear mistakes at a very early age. You learned that if you made a mistake, you could be punished, either by your parents, your school or your society. If you did anything that was displeasing or judged as inappropriate by the adults around you, you were admonished, sometimes ever humiliated in front of others. You figured out that there must be appropriate ways to behave and that if you “misbehaved,” you were “bad” and subject to rejection, isolation and pain.

Now, that can really screw up a person’s sense of self-confidence in their own self-expression, don’t you think?

Even now, as adults, our fear of mistakes cripples so much of our potential creativity and confident self-expression. We’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, of forgetting what we mean to say, of doing something “wrong.”  Huge chunks of our creative, expressive selves have been strangled because we long ago decided these parts of who we are might not meet the approval of others.

A day doesn’t go by without someone telling me a horror story about how they were humiliated or made to feel “wrong” or unworthy by either a teacher or some authority figure. These humiliations and the habits we’ve formed around them continue to haunt us. In an attempt to stay safe, we’ve stopped owning and expressing our true voice. We’ve allowed ourselves to become silent and small.

But here’s the good news.

When it comes to self-expression, there are no mistakes. There are only spontaneous, unplanned opportunities for connection.

Keep reading...

Continue reading "Secret #4
You Can't Make a Mistake
Because There Is No Such Thing!" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 09:49 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

December 11, 2006

Diva Secret #3
Be Yourself

I recently wrote a Special Report that I'd like to share with you. It's called "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." I'll be posting these Secrets one by one over the next few weeks. Enjoy!

__________________

Secret #3:
Be Yourself

Tell me the truth. Can you just be yourself when you’re speaking or performing?

Can you just show up and be who you are without feeling that you should be someone who is more articulate, more talented, more experienced, more dynamic, more interesting, more funny, more SOMETHING?

The reason I’m asking is that most people feel that if they are going to stand up and speak in front of an audience, they need to be MORE than who they are. They need to be like that electrifying, laugh-a-minute speaker they saw last week. Or they need to be an extraordinary, super-duper, high-gloss version of themselves.

Well, that’s nuts.

You get to just be who you are. As you are. Not some better-than-ever version of who you are, but who you are right now. In this moment.

You get to talk the way you talk everyday to your friends and colleagues. Really. Just talk to your audience as if you were talking to a friend over a cup of coffee. Be present and available and just talk like you talk. Not only will you feel natural and at ease but your audience will, too. They will find it easy to connect and engage with you because you are just being you. In fact, all your audience really wants is to be with someone who is real, authentic, and genuine.

Sometimes, when I tell people they can just be who they are, I get this objection. “But I can’t be myself! No one would want to listen to me. Who I am is a very shy, quiet person!” Listen, what choice do you have? You are who you are. So, if you’re shy, then be shy and speak from that shyness. It’s okay. You don’t have to be explosive, aggressive and loud. You don’t have to be any certain way. Just be real. Be who you are.

Secondly, if you try to pretend to be someone you’re not, it’s not going to work. You will be so busy trying to pull of a charade that you are going to feel even more panicked and nervous. Besides, people can smell a fraud and a fake from a mile away. And as soon as they get a whiff, they retract, get suspicious and choose not to pay attention.

Continue reading "Diva Secret #3
Be Yourself" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 02:06 AM | | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

November 23, 2006

Diva Secret #2
Focus On The Fabulous!

I recently wrote a Special Report that I'd like to share with you.
It's called "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." I'll be posting these Secrets one by one over the next few weeks. Enjoy!


___________
Secret #2
Focus on the Fabulous

What are you thinking about right now?

Whatever it is, it’s effecting your experience and creating your future.

According to the Law of Attraction, whatever you think about, give your attention to and focus upon is what is created, or attracted into, your life. There is an energy and vibration in your thoughts, and that energy attracts more of the same. In other words, whatever you feed with your thought and energy, grows and expands into your experience.

So, what are you thinking about when you’re about to speak in public or perform onstage?

If you’re like most of my clients, you’re worrying about all the things that can go wrong. “What if I mess up? What if my body shakes uncontrollably? What if I forget what I’m saying? What if I trip? What if…”

Stop it!

This kind of thinking is not helping you. It’s only scaring you and making you feel more anxious. And, this kind of thinking is feeding what you don’t want.

When you catch your mind spinning with all the disasters that may befall you, just stop and choose to start thinking about what you DO want. “I want to feel relaxed and at ease. I want everything to go smoothly. I want to make a great connection with my audience. I want to express myself freely. I want to tell people what I know. I want to really enjoy this opportunity.”

By thinking about what you do want, you get your mind working for you rather than against you and you start attracting those things you want into your experience.

Continue reading "Diva Secret #2
Focus On The Fabulous!" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 12:33 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

November 15, 2006

Diva Secret #1
You Can't Care What Anyone Else Thinks

I recently wrote a Special Report that I'd like to share with you.
It's called "The Diva's 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing With Confidence, Ease and Charisma." I'll be posting these Secrets one by one over the next few weeks. Enjoy!

___________
What Are the Diva Secrets?

Several years ago I was singing in a small nightclub in San Francisco called Piaf’s. The host of the evening , Wayne, would introduce me to audience as “The Diva of the North Bay.” This title would make me cringe.

The title of “Diva” didn’t sit well with me because the word had come to mean “a narcissitic, self-absorbed, conceited whiner with more attitude than talent.” But I also knew that the original term was given to true Divas, singers who’s ability to be so connected to the divine, to something larger than themselves, that they sang with the ease, power and beauty of the heavens.

In order to find peace with my new title, I had to redefine the word “Diva.” And in doing so, I realized that a true Diva has valuable secrets to share, secrets about how to be powerfully present, completely confident, connected and charismatic when presenting, speaking or performing.  These are the Secrets I’m about to share with you. The Diva’s 7 Secrets to Speaking or Performing in Public With Confidence, Ease and Your Own Kind of Creative Charisma.

You will find these Secrets exciting but challenging because they ask you to change the way you think about yourself, your value and your relationship to speaking or performing in public. They may rub up against some old concepts and beliefs you have about what it means to express yourself in public. This is good.

Because if you are reading this, chances are that you want a change, yes? A change that allows you to feel completely confident, authentic and free in your self-expression? A change that allows you to break free of all the fear and anxiety and self-sabotage that has been keeping you from the joy of expressing yourself fully and fearlessly?

Well then, let’s get to it!

As for my new definition of the word Diva, I will share it with you in the Appendix of this report. It can wait because I know you’re anxious to dig in to these Secrets right now. Just read through them and imagine how it would feel to fully integrate these Secrets into your life and your self-expression. If it feels good, go for it!

Continue reading "Diva Secret #1
You Can't Care What Anyone Else Thinks" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 05:44 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

October 06, 2006

When You're Feeling Nervous
Let It Move!

The time is getting close.

Any minute now, someone will introduce you. You will make your way to the front of the room and speak to a group of people who are anticipating your every word. As you wait for your time to come, your hands start to sweat. Your stomach churns. Your heart pounds fast and hard.

Hey, it’s okay! It’s just your nervous system doing its thing.

I know. You hate those physical sensations of nervousness. You want nothing more than to make them all go away. It’s what you dread the most whenever you speak or perform in public. Those pesky, physical manifestations of nervous energy. If only you could get rid of them.

Listen, the problem is not that your heart is pounding or your stomach is clenching or your knees are knocking. The problem is that you think these physical expressions of energy are a problem. They’re not the problem. They are just energy moving.

The problem is that you resist these sensations of energy. You contract around them, wanting them to go away and leave you alone. You think to yourself, “Oh, no! I don’t want to feel THIS! This feels out of control. I hate it that my heart is pounding. What if everyone sees my whole face trembling? Am I blushing? I’m sure I must be beet red by now…” and on and on.

Now you are not only feeling nervous about your presentation but you’re frightened by what you are feeling inside your own skin.

If only you could have a shot of whiskey, you’re sure you’d feel better. But there is no whiskey and it’s only 9:30 in the morning, so you try breathing deeply in an effort to calm and control these sensations, but this only makes you more nervous and tense. In trying to control these physical symptoms, you’ve only made them more aggressive and persistant.

What to do? How can you allow these sensations to assist you rather than make you feel crazy and out of control?

The first thing is to realize that it’s just energy. It’s just sensation.

Oh, sure, you can call it “nervousness” or “anxiety” or “terror” even, but actually, it’s just energy moving in your body in such a way that you feel physical sensation. Can you let yourself be with these sensations without making them bad or unwanted?

It’s okay that your heart is beating. Hearts do that, hopefully. Let your stomach turn somersaults. It’s not terminal. It’s just energy moving through. Let it move through!

Let’s walk through the following four steps to allowing these physical waves of energy to assist you rather than freak you out.

Continue reading "When You're Feeling Nervous
Let It Move!" »

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 12:12 AM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

June 14, 2006

Be Conversational! The Key to Speaking with Ease

Yesterday at the "Become the Star You Are" TeleClinic, we talked about how to be as comfortable talking to a whole gaggle of folks as you are when talking to your best friend over a cup of coffee.

One of the keys is to be conversational. You don't have to speak in some fancy, formal way when you're talking to a group. You can be casual and conversational. In fact, it's inviting and friendly when you do, AND you will feel so much more at ease!

Carla Kimball of River Way Enterprises says it perfectly in her e-newsletter. Here's an excerpt from her "C is for Conversation" issue she sent to me back in May:

"I believe that much of the fear and anxiety associated with public speaking comes from how we choose to think about it.  If we think of it as a speech or a presentation we have to make  to an audience, we create all kinds of expectations for ourselves.  We have to be brilliant, show that we know our stuff, entertain  them, motivate and inspire them, keep them interested...

 "...What if you thought of it as a conversation rather than a presentation?  What if you simply spoke to one person at a time, whether you have  4 people in your audience or 400? Even if you are doing all the  talking, there is an energetic exchange that can happen if you are  open to it."

Carla is right on the money when she says that our fear and anxiety is directly related to how we choose to think about it (public speaking).

Remember, there's no such thing as public speaking. There's just speaking. And we do it all day long! Some wise guy said that somewhere. (In fact, if you know who said that, would you let me know? I'd love to give him full credit).

If you remember that speaking in front of a group can be as easy and natural and conversational as the kind of speaking you do all day long, you will start to challenge some of those old ways of thinking. Those old ways of thinking that aren't serving you very well anymore.

You can sign up for Carla's newsletter (which I'm really enjoying) at her website:
http://www.riverways.com/

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 11:27 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

March 23, 2006

Graphically Speaking

My friend Judy Baker of Completely Creative just turned me on to this blog entry from Dave Shea of css Zen Garden. I don't know what css Zen Garden is all about, but I do know that  Dave has some very good, down to earth tips for giving presentations.

Of the eleven tips he has written in this entry, I especially love this one:
   
Tip #6     Be prepared to allow for spontaneity.
You can’t really plan for the asides and diversions that you might make while on stage, but allow them to happen when they do. Often you’ll explore a related idea that ties in with your main points nicely, and it’ll work its way into future presentations.

There are some other good ones, like:

 Tip #3     Pause.
Get used to taking small pauses here and there, to take a sip of water, to collect your thoughts, to slow yourself down, or whatever else. It’s okay to have a few seconds of silence.
Check it out and let me know what you think.
And it's true. Powerpoint is evil.


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March 09, 2006

Become the Star You Are!

That's right. It's time for you to let the Star you really are shine, shine shine!

You are invited to the premiere of "Become the Star You Are" — a weekly, drop-in TeleClinic where you can get the tools and support you need to speak or perform in public with confidence, ease and your own kind of creative charisma.

THIS IS WHERE you get your questions answered and your concerns addressed.

To find out more and to register, go here.

Do you want to know how to engage with your audience and make an authentic connection?

Do you want to know why you sing better in your car than you do when you're on stage?

Or maybe you just want to be able to tell a joke at a dinner party without feeling like a nervous wreck.

What's up for you relative to speaking or performing in public? Well, that's what we'll work with during the call.

Oh, you can't make the call at that time? No sweat. All the TeleClinics will be recorded for your listening pleasure, so register now and start shining!

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October 22, 2005

Fakin' It

 “I’ve just been fakin’ it,
 I’m not really makin’ it.
 This feeling of fakin’ it--
 I still haven’t shaken it.”
 - Paul Simon, from the song, “Fakin’ It”

In Dale Carnegie’s book, How To Develop Self-Confidence and Influence People by Public Speaking, he tells his readers that there are four things which are essential to becoming a good speaker. One of them is to “Act Confident.” He states “To develop courage when you are facing an audience, act as if you already had it.” He goes on to say “…look your audience straight in the eyes, and begin to talk as confidently as if every one of them owed you money…Imagine that they have assembled there to beg you for an extension of credit.”

Wow. There’s just so many things I hate about this advice.

Before I pounce upon this strategy with teeth bared, let me say that I understand its appeal. First, fake it, then you might make it. You might fool yourself into actually becoming confident and assured by acting as if you are. Or, at least you might feel more comfortable if you think no one can tell just how nervous you really are.

It’s that old adage, “Fake it until you make it.” But when it comes to self-expression, public speaking and performance, this adage stinks.
Let me tell you why.

Continue reading "Fakin' It" »

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