Some people are asking me why am I talking about a World Drunk on Appreciation challenge on a blog dedicated to fearless self-expression and confident speaking.

Because I want to.

Ha! No, the real reason is that this challenge is all focus. Focus and Feeling. Two of the most powerful tools we can use when it comes to feeling confident and powerful when we are speaking in public in any way.

Where you put your focus determines how you feel. It also directs your energy and thought along the same lines. So if you are complaining, you are focusing on what you don’t want. You are giving it energy AND power in your experience, in your reality.

And this, I find, is exactly what we do when we are about to speak or perform or express ourselves in some public way.  Our mind starts focusing on everything that could go wrong. It starts worrying. It starts saying things to you like, “Oh, man, I'm going to forget that middle part. And this audience is sure to find me boring. What if I space out?” 

This is focus gone postal. The mind is telling you horror stories, hurling insults at you and basically giving a lot of energy to WHAT YOU DON'T WANT!

By choosing your focus, focusing on what you DO want rather than what you DON’T want, you get to direct your energy, attention AND your feeling in a direction that allows you to feel eager and confident about what you are about to do. By choosing your focus, you choose how you get to feel. Fabulous and ready. Or small and terrified.

That’s why I’m presenting this Appreciation Challenge. To become more conscious of how we use the power of our focus. We can focus on what irks us, or we can, in that moment, bask in the appreciation of what we love.

This is just good creating and attracting. What you think about grows. What you think about is attracted into your experience. So, think about what you love, what you truly appreciate. Let every little niggle of a complaint turn you towards appreciation.

Just try it!

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 01:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay, I’ve already gotten complaints about this Complaint Free Counter Challenge!
Isn’t that funny! Complaints about not complaining! I love it!

The point that some people are making is this: to not complain is a form of denial. For instance, if we don’t protest, if we choose to turn away from that which we feel is “wrong,” then we are living in denial. We’re being deluded, apathetic Pollyannas.

I don’t see it that way. Not complaining doesn’t mean not noticing. Nor does it mean you don’t take action to make changes you feel are necessary and good. I'm not talking about becoming brain dead. In fact, I’m advising that you use your brain to create, influence and enhance your life and your world. How?

By choosing.

The truth is that you can’t help but notice what you don’t like. Your mind is built to discern, think, judge and evaluate. It’s going to happen whether you want it to or not. That’s what minds do.

Where our power comes in is in our choice. We can choose to push against what we are noticing by complaining or protesting or silently grumbling under our breath. Or we can choose to focus on what we would prefer. And perhaps even take action in that direction.

Complaining doesn’t do anything except to give more energy and power and attention to that which you don’t like. So, you’re actually feeding the problem. You’re not just noticing it. You’re adding to it.

But if you choose instead to give your attention and voice to that which you do want, that which you prefer, like a solution, that’s empowering what you do want. And that’s not complaining. That’s creating.

If there’s something that’s a problem for you or the world, give your attention to the solution, to that which feels good, rather than give endless complaining energy to that which you hate.

I don’t believe not complaining is a form of denial. Nor do I believe that appreciating is a delusional and pollyanna-ish. It just makes good sense.

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 07:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Is gossiping the same as complaining?

Yesterday, I was doing great with my new challenge to stop complaining and start appreciating. Until I met my friend Jason for a mocha at the French Hotel in Berkeley. Jason and I don’t get to see each other very much so when we do, we talk about everything. Mostly about singers, singing, health issues, and what the heck we are doing with our lives. Simple stuff, like that.

Well, we fell into gossiping because it’s just too easy to do.  And I was wondering, is this complaining? If I am talking negatively about anyone, is that complaining, or is it just…noticing. And then commenting? Offering opinion?

Now, when we were talking about health stuff, we were complaining. I admit it! I complained. I talked about something unwanted and I gave it energy, and that, to me, is a complaint. But I immediately started appreciating. I appreciated Jason, who is such a love. And the mocha I was drinking was so rich with really, really good chocolate. And the photos on the wall of the French Hotel were so interesting.

But what about gossiping?

I decided, after really looking at it, that if you are talking about someone else in a negative way, that IS complaining. Because you are saying: I don’t like this and I’m going to give it tons of energy by talking about it.

Even if you’re having a great time talking about it? Even if it feels really good?

Yes. Even if it feels really good. Because you know what? It doesn’t really feel all that good. It only feels good because we’re connecting with another human being by talking. But does it ever feel good to say negative things about anybody? Maybe temporarily. As the words are flying out of your mouth. But the aftertaste is bitter.

What do you think? Is gossiping a form of complaining?



Oprah Complaint Free World Christ Church Unity Law of Attraction Appreciation

Posted by Nancy Tierney at 07:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)